How to Grow Adult Friendships.
Lay a solid foundation: Lay a solid foundation of mutual values, virtues, likes and dislikes. Have conversations you bond on and meander around; like Adam Smith whose reason for starting Economics we still don’t know, but whose ideologies we can barely survive without and John Maynard Keynes who believes in the long run we are all dead. Do you remember Thomas Aquinas , Krugman and Friedman? I remember them sometimes too and wonder why we had to learn so much about them when they don’t even know who we are.
Bond on hobbies, like football, like Ronaldo Nazario, and of course Cristiano Ronaldo. These 2000s lads won’t know how good Ronaldo Nazario de Lima was, but you do. More importantly , you love Cristiano Ronaldo and we bonded over our love for him.
Do you remember how we went to watch Real Madrid vs Juventus champions league final in 2017, despite having multiple tests coming up the following week? Or how we stayed up to watch France vs Portugal Euros final despite the fact that Ronaldo was subbed? We kept on having Faith that Portugal will win despite the setback, and they won.
Talking of setbacks, we had ours- different lenses, different seasons, different regions different horizons- but the next element of adult friendships is mutual respect. It is respecting the other person’s opinion, and giving them room to express themselves. It is being the bigger person when you have to apologise and being the smaller person when you have to change it for them while maintaining mutual respect while at it.
Dear Tega,
Thank you for not giving up on our friendship- for laying the foundation, and building the blocks and plastering the building blocks. Thank you for being patient when I am not, and being firm when I needed it; for the encouraging words, and timely prayers. Thank you for the sumptuous dishes at maintenance, the prayer walks at Road 1, the tongues breakout at Campus gates and the tarrying at white walls. We planted those seeds a long while ago, can you see them manifesting now?
Now we are adults. Now, we have KPIs , goals and responsibilities, (we have always have this anyway). Now, we are battling capitalism, sorting bills, preparing for appraisals, and praying for partners and potential partners. Now, adulting is catching up, and life is sometimes a stormy tides-but through this all, you can be sure, our friendship is an anchor that’ll keep standing strong.
Happy birthday oremiii, many happy returns. May this post remind you of how amazing you are and how awesome and awe-inpsiring your growth is.
I love you so much and I am always rooting for you
