Random things I have been doing.
I.
These days, I send spontaneous dms to ladies on twitter.
I tell them they are gorgeous. I stop by their profile, study their gaze, their poise, and wonder how beautiful the heavens is, because isn’t the earth God’s footstool, and are we not made in His image? If ladies are these stunning, how pulchritudinous is the heavenlies and those who dwell there in?
These days, I type congratulations very easily. People see hell everyday and if they win, they should celebrate and we should celebrate with them. Either it is a Matriculation, a convocation, the birth of a twins, or a Call to Bar picture. I type congratulations because life is a continous cycle of unending wants and unmet needs, so when people meet some of these needs and yearnings , they should be celebrated, and we should let them bask in the celebration instead of asking ridiculous questions like where will they get a job, Nigeria is a lawless country, why are they practising law ? Is it not just convocation, why are they happy? The job market is saturated, where will they get a job?
Are you a witch, or a wizard? Can’t you let people celebrating without pokenosing? Does your opinion matter here?
These days, I block people on twitter without thinking twice. I do not want you contaminating my thoughts with your biased mindset. I don’t hate you, I just don’t want you within my reach. I recently saw a gorgeous lady whose banner read I think in Yoruba First . I stopped by her wall and her first ten tweets was either sending malicious comments to Obidients, faulting a flawless report about BIAFRA, supporting Balablu and his cabal of dimwits, or telling Omo oduduwa not to sleep or join the public to criticize the current government. I found my way to the top right corner my screen, clicked on the drop down, and pressed the block button.
I do not think about how heterogenous our country is, and how I think one Nigeria is a sham but if I see that your tweet elevate tribe over the obvious mediocrity we can all see with our pair of eyes, then I should protect my eyes from seeing the expression of your mediocre thoughts.
II.
These days I save twitter banners and think about the content. I read up profiles on LinkedIn and stare in awe about how daring people are. I mean, I read someone’s story yesterday who studied law and wrote ACCA simultaneously. She got called to bar and also celebrated being an ACCA affiliate, a chartered accountant with solid knowledge of law and finance, all between the stipulated time of studying law. Some people have two heads.
These days, I listen to Dua Lipa’s Dance in the night and hum my favorite part :
Watch me dance, dance the night away
My heart could be burnin’, but you won’t see it on my face
Watch me dance, dance the night away (uh-huh)
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place (place)
Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps
I have spent the last couple months moving close to the edge; but guess who shows up online, provide HR consultations to Startup founders, write mindblowing posts on Linkedin, trending articles on women football and still stare at the ceiling at night while waiting for tears to come? Yes, that’s me! The annoying part? Those tears never do.
I am so jealous of you all that tears visit easily…
III
These days, I listen to Tove Lo’s Talking Body on repeat, delete flower’s pictures one dozen a time, mute LSD and every symbol of them, and avoid the restaurants we visit together. I am so sure the lovely waiters at Afefeyeye will be wondering why I haven’t come by. I am sorry, your meals are sumptuous, they are affordable too but at the moment, my heart is precarious.
Isn’t it scintillating that our favorite things can be the things that hurt us the most in a split second? I unfollow Davido and skip my Youtube playlist everytime na money comes up. Grief maims us in many ways.
These days I listen to Janelle Monae and Jidenna’s Yoga, watch Janelle Monae’s lipstick lover, attend ISWIS speed dating event, and scribble a spontaneous poem for a lissom lustrous lady I met at Radisson blu’s reception. She has a glistening gaze, chubby cheeks, and luscious lips that makes one twirl.
I watch her go from being shocked to smiling and wondering why a (strange) gentleman will slip a paper into her hand and dash off.
I stare at the umpteenth rejection mail, laugh at the universe for torturing me this much, start and finish FURIES on Netflix and wonder why the world is furious at my destiny. I switch between Netflix, Showmax , and Amazon prime. Netflix is always a fave though. I just hate how I can connect with Dr Slump so much so I stop watching it, I will continue when all the episodes have been released.
These days, I respond to every ca va with comme ci comme ca, it is a perfect phrase to describe my state. Some times, I say Pas Mal, it stops any further questions
IV.
These days, I search for pebbels of happiness, in movies, in songs, in soothing hugs and reassuring mails because all I can do is to live in the moment knowing these days will soon be a period I’d reference with joyous glee.
I binge Players’ Tribune and read the stories of those who made it, who they were before they made it and how they kept on going through the bleak dark days. I ask questions, how did they make it? Why didn’t they give up?
Dejan says:
“If you’re failing, keep going until you succeed.”
“Nothing is impossible. The impossible just takes a bit longer.”
I wonder how much a bit longer it’ll take and how much longer I can wait.
V.
These days, I wake up, write a script and shoot a video that breaks the internet.
People send their wishes, their good wishes, their honest good wishes.
I want to tell them that I didn’t shoot it because I desperately wanted a job (of course I want a job that pays me at least 2k USD per month so that I won’t join them in arguing about if 800k naira is upper class or middle class when a bag of rice is 80k and a bag of pure water is 500 naira ).
I also want a job because I absolutely miss working with a team, achieving business goals, launching new products and working under pressure (I can’t believe I miss the pressure); but that’s not why I shot the video.
I shot the video because I wanted to remind myself how much of a genius I am and how innovative, creative and exceptionally brilliant I could be if given the chance to, and how if no one gives me the chance to, I can still exude my brilliance without any external permission or validation.
But I am grateful for the good wishes, you can’t deny an obvious work of genius, can you? Na the job remain like this…
VI.
These days, I am obsessed with Billie Eilish and I do not deny it, how can you be so brilliant at 22, how can your first album win four grammies at 18? Who cooked your vegetable, what kind of prayers did your mother pray?
I remember that I use to write songs in teenage years, I wrote two songs that won my parish, my area, and province the regional competition, and took us to the national finals at Redemption camp. If you grew up in Redeem, you will know how huge this is.
I probably should have been more serious. I might be writing songs for Limoblaze today, but that line has passed, hasn’t it?
These days; I struggle to watch kdrama, because my mind is busy, why is it busy? I do not know. I wake up and pray a Psalm, a particular Psalm. That God will have mercy and show me His kindness, and give me strenght to go on.
It is specific, and precise; because I need strenght to go on, don’t I?
These days, I do not overthink things, I just do them. Like shooting my shot at Netflix for the umpteenth time, knowing they don’t have an office in SSA, and reminding Jasmin Pillay on LinkedIn that she needs to hire me to join her team, like waking up and shooting a video that went viral, like writing this post and clicking the publish button…
Tell me, what have you done recently, without over thinking, and how did it go?
Ciao.
P:S- You can watch my video here, if you missed it on Twitter, IG and LinkedIn.
Please share this post if you enjoyed it, your feedback and claps means a whole lot to me.
P.P:S- This is dedicated to AyoO who guided me to the finishing line.
